no one stays together anymore.

thanks for the memories

ha, i love how you both texted me today

because it's both of your birthday's and i guess you were expecting me to say something?

neither of you have that hold on me anymore

and now you both know it.

one of you showed me i shouldn't care so much about someone,

while the other showed me that i should never settle on someone,

and neither of you deserve a "happy birthday" from me :]

time to clean my room.

questions/concerns

1. what is your fascination with me?

leave me alone.

2. why are you so creepy? you wonder why i don't talk to you for months, it's because you creep me out with your super forwardness in asking me to have sex with you. you're gross. no.

3. why am i so attracted to a guy that's engaged/practically married?

4. are you flirting with me? is the reason you're coming here to see me? if yes & if so, stop and don't. you're wasting your time.

5. stop trying to be the one for me, you're not.

and 6 isn't so much a question or concern,

but a realization that i have been completely anti-social these past 2-3 weeks

and now all i want is human interaction

and i have pushed away one of my best friends

and someone who really needed me

so i feel pretty great about that.

other than that, life is pretty good,

things are looking up.

oh and i think i got asked on a date today

and now i feel really bad because now that i think about it

it sounded like i totally blew him off

and made up some lame excuse about not being able to go,

but i actually do have plans on that day

and it's too bad because he asked me to go to this really amazing thing,

a premier (or showing?) of a banksy film.

i wish i could go, not as a date though.

i "dated" this boy when i was in 5th grade,

he was the first boy that i would have ever been on a date with.

we were gonna go see deep impact

but my mom told me i couldn't go unless dina went with us,

and i was like "no way!"

so we never went.

during the last few hours of school

we sat in our classroom and watched a goosebumps movie

and wrote notes back and forth in his yearbook.

he told me he was going somewhere over the summer

and he wanted my address so he could send me post cards.

i gave him my address and waited all summer,

nothing ever came.

we didn't talk throughout middle school or high school

because he was considered one of the popular kids.

tonight i finally got to see a movie with him

and i'm glad we're friends, just friends.

i wanted so badly for tonight to not be a date

and i did everything in my power to make it not a date,

i'm glad i did.