how did we get here?

i used to know you so well.

idk how to feel about this.

is this the way i'll always be?

i'm determined.

i've opened up to you and will show you the real me,

and if that scares you away then fine.

i'm not going to give into my bad habits

or fall back into my lazy routine

because i actually want to get somewhere,

and i will get there now.

i realized something last night while talking to one of my good friends,

i was talking about you and everything i thought you were.

i want ranting about the final months

and the changes i saw

and then i got to the end,

the part where

you gave up.

you didn't want to try and fix me anymore,

you didn't want to make things work,

you just gave up.

you gave up on me because i had given up on myself.

well, i'm not giving up on myself anymore.

i only want you.

are dreams truth or just what we want to be true?

i had a somewhat reoccurring dream in may/june,

and that one came true,

although it was more of a nightmare.

last nights dream could be a sign of what's to come,

or it could just be a dream.

but i don't think it's just a dream,

because i rarely have normal dreams,

and the normals ones that i have had either happen

or something similar happens. idk.

i guess i'll just wait and see,

the words were so clear, it sounded just like you,

"i only want you."

it's all wrong.

i need you to tell me.