this must be it.

please god, keep me safe tonight.

i don't need any more visits to the ER

or traumatizing shit.

happy new year to everyone <3

falling for you.

finally :] <3

7 shooting stars later,

i know you've thought about it,

you've hinted at it,

i wish you'd just ask already.

be a man & ask :]

my favorite part.

i absolutely love this;

the butterflies,

the way you look at me,

the permasmile,

the fact that you'd rather sit in your car and talk

than sit through a movie in the theatre,

the fact that you speak of future plans with me,

the fact that you are such a gentleman.

i love it that this is just the start,

the beginning is my favorite part.

this is new.

where are you when i truly need you?

no, i'm not sure to who i am referring, just in general,

a general you, the you i can talk to.

i sure must be doing something right

because i haven't scared you away yet.

something about this feels right,

but then there's that little voice in the back of my head...

i'll just ignore it, because i like this so much,

so so much :]

the adventure.

you know, so much has happened this past year;

i've rock climbed, made new friends, lost friends, became closer to my family, loved, had my first horrifying experience, had secrets, kept secrets, told secrets, been to my first party, went on my first cruise, took my anger out on a punching bag, got my heart broken, saw the jonas brothers, seen paramore for the seventh or eight time, learned that cleaning takes my mind off of everything which has resulted in a clean room for quite some time now, fell out of a car, went to emergency room, got 9 stitches, learned how important my left hand is to me, had an amazing few days with a boy who taught me that i could feel something for someone again, made some bad decisions, had drunken nights, laid on a beach and watched the stars with a boy, had many awkward moments, got in trouble, cried til my eyes hurt, collapsed on my front door, dreamt about you for a week straight, confessed that you were all i wanted, was rejected, was ignored, was confused, was greatful, was hopeful, was sang to, was serenaded on guitar, smiled when you texted me, received good morning texts, got angry when you texted me, felt beautiful, felt terrible, was kissed when i wanted to be, was kissed when i definitely didn't want to be, and so much more.

i saw the real you and got a glimpse of the real me,

and i'm hoping, praying,

that i can be me without you.