just the thought gives me the creeps.

what if your love is not the same

as it seems inside my brain?

i wish you would stop messing with my head.

swim.

you really bother me.

i keep going over that conversation we had 2 months ago

and your bullshit reasons.

i wish i would have spoken up and called you out,

but your words were like a smack in the face.

oh how selfish i was to want you all to myself,

no, how selfish you were to not understand how i was feeling.

all of my "bad moods" pushed you away,

mmno, crying definitely isn't what i do when i'm in a bad mood,

and after four years of really knowing me,

i guess you didn't know me all that well.

i apologize for wanting to spend my life with you,

and i really appreciate you not talking to me,

or trying to keep contact with me

because it's made it so much easier to let you go.

but everyfuckingtime i see your name on facebook

i want to comment the nastiest, bitchiest most sarcastic comments,

but i wont.

thank you for showing me real love

and showing me real loss

i'm grateful to have gone through it

and as much as i want to hate you, i cant

and i dont think i ever will.

drunk texts.

thank goodness for alcohol.

if you weren't drunk right now i'd never know.

unsure.

it's unfair of me to compare,

but you set the bar so goddamn high.

i just need you to tell me what you want.